Those Movie Jerks!
by Softbrush
Summary: A certain video game hacker brings several movie characters together. They try to comprehend the modern day world as it is and not how they’re used to. (This is what happens when you haven't slept for two days! Randomness, folks.) Humour and organized C
1. Alex Tra Beck's Legacy

Summary: a certain video game hacker brings A few movie characters together. They try to comprehend the modern day world as it is and not how they're used to in their movies.

Organized chaos ensues. Villains are to be dealt with. This is what happens when you've been bored for more then twenty-four hours

Disclaimer: This is a _fan_ fiction. I am not getting paid for this. Arrrg? *Snorts* Oh, and Alex Tray Beck is my character. Get it? Alex Tray Beck? *Snorts some more and giggles* 

               "Ouch!" Alex said, watching as the computer crashed yet again. Her attempts at hacking into the movie theater's website were futile. She was beginning to believe it was impossible.

              She had sent viruses to them. They were returned. She hadn't been arrested yet, which was the only upside.  
                           "One day, you curs," she muttered, brushing her ash-brown chin length hair from her face. Her bangs constantly got in her eyes, which caused much havoc for a hacker (who was partial to quick-thinking computer games). 

              She glanced at the clock in the corner of her computer screen, and seeing it was already one o'clock in the morning, sighed. She remembered she was in her navy blue pajama pants and t-shirt, with the happy faces over her butt and little squiggly red squiggles over everywhere else.

               "But I don't want to go to beeeed," she complained to herself, glad it was summer vacation and she could stay up late. She was also glad it was the particular week her mom and sister went out to Montreal to play in a baseball tournament. Err, well, her mom played. Her elder sister (by five years) simple complained and kept score.

               "And I don't have to," she sneered evilly and proceeded to open up a few more files on her computer. She clicked a few keys, pressed a few 'send' buttons, and sent a new virus (created by herself, of course) to the movie theater. 

**************************************************

              Now, you (the reader) must be wondering why our dear Protagonist wages such a war against the movie theater she goes to enjoy movies at? Well, for years she had been movie hoping (sneaking into all sorts of movies without paying), when finally, her legacy was ended. She had been caught and banned from the theater. 

              Stupid bastards…

*******************************************************

              Alex Tray Beck yawned, finally feeling her eye lids droop down with exhaust. She glanced at the clock and upon seeing it was four in the morning, squealed. She got up, and dragged herself over to her bed. She threw her plush doll of her all time favorite not-a-main-character-in-a-movie character, Ragetti from POTC, at the gerbil cage in the corner of her room (as this seemed to silence the six gerbils within quite effectively) and dragged the covers over herself, ignoring the fact that her doll's one marble eye just fell out.

              She failed to notice the computer screen flashing large red letters that read "Warning! Organized Chaos Reigns! Ack!" before a list flashed across in small font, each item upon the list in a different colour. That was because she was asleep.

              Imhotep (goldenrod)

              Creejak Poisonclaw (black)

              Barbossa (navy blue)

              Mr. Bean (fuchsia)

              Spinosaurous Egypticus (light grey)

              Severus Snape (green)

                          Jessie-Leigh (purple)   


	2. Meet The Characters

Summary: a certain video game hacker brings A few movie characters together. They try to comprehend the modern day world as it is and not how they're used to in their movies.

Organized chaos ensues. Villains are to be dealt with. This is what happens when you've been bored for more then twenty-four hours

Disclaimer: This is a _fan_ fiction. I am not getting paid for this. Arrrg? *Snorts* Oh, and Alex Tray Beck is my character. Get it? Alex Tray Beck? *Snorts some more and giggles* 

Notes: BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*hack cough choke gag* Be prepared for a different style in my writing. MUWAHAHAHA…*stops before she starts choking*

               Alex woke up the next morning with sore eyes. Her head hurt from the strain of starring at a computer all night. Her back ached from her slouching posture. She refrained from moving for a while. That is, until she noticed something.

               "What the fuck…?" she groaned as she turned on her side, only to have something prod into her ribs. She blindly groped around for the offensive object until she clasped it in her hand.

               "My plushy…" she muttered, running a finger over the marble eye, which was back in its socket. "How the fuck did it get there…"

               "Err, I figured it was supposed t'eh be there," an unfamiliar and rather coarse voice answered. The voice was slightly raspy and harsh with a bit of an awkward accent behind it.

               Her eyes snapped open. Then she screamed as they came to rest upon the voice's owner.

*****************************************

               Creejak Poisonclaw had never enjoyed watching people sleep. More or less, when he had been back where he was last night, he wouldn't have slept. Duty called, or more or less, his drinks and love life had called. So to speak…

               And he had tried to do this kid a favor, for some odd reason. Having no clue whom the hell she was, how he got there, or who the other people around him were, he had tried to do something nice for a change. Now, he was getting his hearing blown to smithereens by the brat.

               "Damnation, shut up!" he said smoothly, carefully using his ungloved hand to cover the kids mouth. To which, the kid bit him.

               With a hiss, he jerked his hand back and growled in an animalistic way, cradling the said hand against his chest.

               **************************

               Alex finally stopped screaming. Panting for air she glared around the room at her. She was surrounded by…. characters. Real characters, from movies and books, surrounded her.

               She recognized the man who had just covered her mouth. His slightly greasy, chin-length hair (which was not cut even, so some strands were longer then the others), incredibly pale white skin, horrible dark black eyes, black attire (which included a leather vest, a very thick cotton turtleneck, a thin cape, mid-shin boots, slightly loose pants, and two belts), tall if not above average height, and his voice had been a dead give-a-way. He also wore a glimmering emerald broche in the shape of half a heart, pinned so that it held his mid-spine length cape upon his back. Attached onto one of his belts was a sword, incased in a leather scabbard that was positively graying with age. Around his hands and entwined between his fingers (reaching to his elbows) were ratty silken bandages. Alex recalled they also followed that pattern from his toes to his knees. On his other belt, a few small pouches and crystal vials were, liquids sloshing in the vials and powers or sands symphonizing in the pouches. He was Creejak Poisonclaw, from her favorite book series, _The Lunalea Chronicles_.

               She also recognized Jessie-Leigh Skinner, from another good book she loved. _Jericho's Tale_: a novel about a horribly insane yet almost uncannily creepy and handsome murderer from the not-so-far-off future. Jessie was the Protagonist, a cop who became stalked and a stalker at the same time, trying to discover the killer and bring him to justice. She wore a dark purple t-shirt with a jean jacket over it, and a pair of flared blue jeans and black ankle-boots. Her slim figure was complimented greatly by it all, and her curly highlighted red hair seemed to be illustrated by her dark clothes. 

               Then there was _Mr. Bean_. He was dressed in a brown jacket with a dark blue shirt, and navy blue pants with a black belt. His dark hair was combed down smoothly, yet his expression was that of confusion. He was looking around himself in a horribly funny way.

               A tall, tanned and completely bald man warring nothing but black robes and a loincloth was scowling horrible, his arms crossed over his muscular chest. Imhotep, the villain of _The Mummy_ and _The Mummy Returns_.

               Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from the _Harry Potter_ stories, was dressed in his black robes with a green and grey scarf wrapped around his neck. His greasy black, long hair was brushed behind his ears, and his pale skin looked even paler in the morning light. His dark eyes were darting too and fro, and his wand was out, pointing nowhere in particular.

               Lastly, a man leaning against the wall furthest away from her (and everybody else) grunted in amusement. His slightly thin figure was clad in a cotton blue jacket with heavy, up-turned sleeves with gold trimmings and numerous other weave-work. Beneath, he wore a loose buttoned-up white shirt with a frilled neck. His white skin was tanned and slightly wrinkled by weather and sun (and age!), and he had a dust brown beard with matching hair that went to his shoulders. His black pants were thin and very baggy, the ends being tucked into dark boots with their tops folded over, thus forcing the pants to drape slightly over the boot rims. He wore two belts, one with a sword and an old-fashioned pistol thrust into it, the other snaking across his chest, over his shoulder and back, connecting with the other side of the other belt (the only part visible over his shirt before it was hidden by his coat). A ragged, once-lightly coloured green sash was tied around his waist for decoration, and his left hand was gloved with a leather glove, the fingers cut off. A golden band wrapped around his ring finger. He wore a painted shark-tooth on a small chain in his right ear, and a slightly ugly big grayish-blue hat with a large feather producing from underneath its brim-band. Underneath his hat, a dark green-turquoise bandana must have been tied around his forehead and over his bangs, and the ends of the knotted rag reached his shoulder blades. Captain Barbossa, from _Pirates of the Caribbean_.

               "This is so not right!" Alex said darkly, her gaze around the room ending on Barbossa, who rolled his eyes and gave a very quiet huff. He crossed his arms over his chest and proceeded to sneer.

               "So good of y'eh t'er notice," he growled, and then he tilted his hat so the brim hid his rather gorgeous blue eyes.

               Just then, a loud snort came from somewhere, and Alex held her breath.

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Imhotep- He's from The Mummy and The Mummy Returns.

Creejak Poisonclaw- Technically he's not a movie character…yet. He's a book character, from the Lunalea Chronicles. Read them. They're excellent books.

Barbossa- PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN! *Bows down to the all mighty movie*

Mr. Bean- Rowan Akinson. This character rules.

Spinosaurous Egytpicus- Jurassic Park. He's the big-bad dinosaur villain! Yah!

Severus Snape- Harry Potter. J.K comes up with the coolest characters.

Jessie-Leigh- The same author as The Lunalea Chronicles also wrote a thriller called Jericho's Tale. It's a DAMN GOOD novel…yes, novel. Screw you flamers. *Cackles and does a voodoo dance*

On a side note…WAHO! WHIRRRRR! WOOT! MRRHPH! *Ahems* 

Yes, I know Barbossa and Creejak get better descriptions then most others. They are positively my favorite characters out of the bunch. They also happen to have more to describe about them. And yes, Geoffrey Rush has gorgeous eyes. Fuck off, already.


End file.
